Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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