Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
