I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
