I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
