in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
