after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
