Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
