idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
