you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
