Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
