he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
