I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
