is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
