her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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