your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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