I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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