she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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