Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
