no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
