I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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