She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
