her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
