You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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