you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
