i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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