i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
