batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
