the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
