I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
