Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
