moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
