i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
