So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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