Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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