You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
