i think my tv is drunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
