does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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