Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
