Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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