yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
