Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
