My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
