the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
