So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
love makes seman taste better
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
