Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and i looked up. we had an audience...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
