Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
