guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it glows. i had to have it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
