Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I deserve this hangover.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
