Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
