ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
